Bet you thought this'd be interesting, didn't you, bitch?

I haven't updated this thing in a long time.. not since April. Hm. Well, anyway.. any truly private thoughts I have, I'll be reserving for livejournal. Much smaller population that'll be looking at it. Here's my first bitch-rant in a while.

I think it's well-documented by people who really know me that I have no acceptance for abusive people. Yelling and screaming.. whatever.. the best make-up sex is after an impassioned arguement. Some people aren't all that good at infusing real passion into their life, so they use meaningless fights as an excuse. Whatever, if it works and doesn't wreck the relationship, go for it. We all have to compromise. When I speak of abusive, I speak of physical, emotional, and real verbal abuse. And while I know that emotional torment is longer-lasting than physical, nothing will ever piss me off so much as seeing a woman marked up, and I don't mean from in the middle of sex.

I'm going to point the finger for this view at my mom. She was married a hell of a lot of times, and two of the guys hit her.. abused her.. and eventually tried to murder her, in public. This's all back in the day when crimes against women, in Alabama, were pretty commonplace. "Domestic disputes" that law enforcement turned a blind eye to. Well, even if this happened 30 years ago, it still.. infuriates the hell out of me. I'm not violent by nature but I've had some very graphic imagining of of what I'd love to do to these two exes. One of them, I don't know even know the name of and the other is dead finally. That guy is the father of my brother Tim and the half-sister I don't mention or acknowledge. With genes like that in their make-up, it's not a surprise that they're both a bit .. somethin'.

To this point.. there's nothing mind-altering or revealing. I've never hidden the fact my mom was abused or how she got her revenge. The problem occurs when I know someone that.. quite frankly, yes, I do care for. The problem occurs when this person is having to stay with her "ex-husband" because she has nowhere else to go, and the reason he's an ex is because he's a drug-addicted wife-beater. I'd known she'd been booted by her roomie, but I didn't know she'd had to move back with the guy. When your family is either out of state, deceased, or on bad terms, you usually are pretty much shit outta luck.

I didn't even know anything was going on until yesterday, which's when it was explained to me what the situation is. Really, really bothers me.. I've spent a lot of time thinkin' over it. I've been debating with myself over whether or not I should offer her the living room.. but the innate problem with that, is, if a guy offers a room to a lady, it's guaranteed she's going to think the guy wants sex, and would take advantage of her. Which I don't, and I won't. I'd offer my worst enemy a space in my apartment if they were having issues with abuse and had nowhere else to run. So, do I still offer and explain up front that I ask for nothing in return except that she not return to the guy? Minding my own business is.. pretty much out of the question. I can abide by almost anything except shit like this. If a guy that says he loves you, is fully capable of beating your ass, then he's just as capable of killing you, and I'm not going to someone's funeral or hospital bed because they didn't have a choice.

I'm pretty fuckin' sure all ready that I'm going to take the risk and offer the couch.. or switch between couch and bed, since I dont mind the couch.. I nap on it incessantly hehe. Writing shit out helps me lay out things in my own head. Like my own little spreadsheet or somethin'. I honestly do expect a rebuff, but hey, all I can do is try. I haven't done my good deed for the year yet, after all.

A revelation?
I have a sketch of a rose next to me, on my desk.. and I look at it nightly. It's supposed to be a white rose, but since I toned the entire paper, it's more.. eh.. graphite colored. *smirk* I haven't been inspired to draw much, and I'm under the suspicion it's because I'm not a fan of black-and-white drawings, or the very-defined lines of a sketch. It's fine in a tattoo and all, but.. it just looks so artificial in a drawing, or other piece of art. Painting's where my interest truly lies.. I've only fooled with oil paint (and once, I used stencil cream for an art project.. now that was a god damn pain, and about killed me in the process), but painting is my preferred medium. Such a different approach to defining everything.. much more bold, lively.. everything I love about art. Unfortunately, for those of you have never went out and priced canvas, paints, turpentine, varnish, primer, brushes, palettes.. it's not a cheap hobby or, as I'm hoping, career. Kinda why I need a second job to start paying off what I owe, and support my art.

I have so many ideas for things I wanna draw.. and truly, it's hard to get a good basis for a painting without a good drawing. So hard to get myself to do it, though, when I don't have much interest in line drawings anymore. I think my first project, when I get the money, is to re-do my Peter Steele painting.. every person I know, friend or relative, says they love it, but I know every last mistake that I did in it, and it bothers me.. a lot. For starters.. I used black paint. You don't use black paint, heh. Every space scene you've ever seen in movies and pictures.. and even knowing space is the ultimate void.. it's purple. It's such a dark shade of purple that it looks black, but retains a certain liveliness that a color as drab as black cannot convey. .. And that painting has a lot of black.. and to me, it does look dull. For a first painting, though, I think I did a good job, but after looking at it for 4 years, it's hard to be as happy with it as I used to be. Next time, I'll use a smaller canvas, too. That bitch's like 3 feet long!

Anyway, I should run along to work and dwell longer upon my future aspirations while doing something more productive than.. this.

Current Mood: bouncy
Current Music: Level 2.0 - Betrayal {God Module Mix}

So.. I'm proud of myself today. Typically, I don't like eating in restaurants when I'm with someone.. and I hate eatin' alone.. but I figured that was just fear talking. Last night, I decided, "Damn it, I wanna try Thai," and so I did. My uncle, Micheal (and it sounds like he's not returning to the states.. when he's done in Iraq, he's probably moving to Thailand), had said the food is good.. hella spicy. Much more so than Chinese.. and he was right. I've never needed three refills on my tea, haha. Good food, though. And no, when I ordered what I got, I didn't even try and make a fool of myself by pronouncing it. I pointed at it. I knew "Laab" wasn't as easy to say as it looked.

I'm stickin' to my damn computer chair. I got nice and burned while doing some yardwork yesterday.. and, uh.. my back is, like.. constantly a little damp? Hah. It's a bitch being burnt when you're as pale as myself. Nicole can vouch for that, hah. It's okay, though, since my mom's side of the family is, it seems, genetally predisposed to cancerous illnesses, I'd get some sorta cancer if I don't get skin cancer first. That's a backwards way of saying, Chuck's getting a tan. Or.. gonna try to. Really, I need to get back to working out.. I've dropped down to 131 again! ugh.

Uhm.. wow, nowadays I really don't have much to say. Little to rant about.. could it be that I'm calming down? Sigh.. actually, I suspect I have little to say because I have too much on my mind to focus on anything these past few weeks. Being scatteredbrained really sucks, damn it. My attention wavers, can't concentrate for long.. and I'm impatient with everything. Definetly sucks. I'm gonna get offa here and mix a CD.. go run.. clean the apartment 'cause it's filthy.. and see if I can't draw somethin'. Damn it.

Current Mood: stressed
Current Music: The Birthday Massacre - Blue

Politically speaking..
I swear every day that I check CNN.com, there's a report of another roadside bombing. A lot of people dead, even more people injured.. I always wonder how many civvies are now among the dead. Not Iraqi civvies, because I don't particularly give a rat's ass (and on that note, I'll explain momentarily), but the contractors and health workers and such that are risking their lives over there. Like my uncle.. Amanda worries to death about him, all the time. The first month or two he was there, she was always crying.. he'd call, then have to hang up quickly because mortars were being fired in his area. The longer he's out there, the higher his chances of not coming back.. it's nerve-wracking, even for me.

As to why I don't give a shit about the Iraqis?.. well. As some may remember, late last month a Muslim-turned-Christian convert was arrested and was supposed to be killed, on account of converting. That was in Pakistan, but generally, Islam's very conservative. Qatar and Kuwait seem to be the more liberal, modern centers of Islam, but.. anyway. If I'd ever thought of Islam as peaceful, it was all driven away when it finally hit.. murdering someone because they want to convert religions? That's not peaceful, that's hate-mongering and discrimatory in the extreme. So. Basically, it comes down to me not giving a shit about any country that shares a belief {control} system like that. Besides, remember the love everyone had for Al Qaeda when we lost the Trade Towers? You know if a plane crashed into the White House right now, half the damn world would cheer.

Next subject.. this guest worker program that's floating around.. that's probably gonna pass. This one, I don't know a whole lot about, to be honest. The gist of it seems to be, make the illegal immigrants legal. The worries will be, "Oh no, employers can't pay them half the minimum wage anymore!".. which's rotten in itself. The only problem I have with immigrants is their lack of knowing the English language. If you live in America, speak the damn language or go home and stop pushing to make Spanish the primary language. As for the work ethic? All of the Mexicans and other Latin immigrants I've ever known were not afraid to work their ass off. Busting their ass for less than minimum wage and were thankful to be given the oppurtunity to support their family. That's admirable to me.

This actually came up at work yesterday, and one of those lazy mother fuckers we need to get rid of was the most avid dissenter. "They're taking jobs away from Americans!".. Usually jobs Americans don't want. Sure, not all the jobs they get are horrible, but you know exactly who's washing dishes and picking produce. Personally, I'd take a hard-working Mexican with a moderate grasp of the language over half the people I work with. I almost let it slip, in truth.. I'm not as careful as I used to be with my big mouth. Truly, though, I think one of the other reasons employers like immigrants isn't just because they pay less for them.. they pay less for a lot. They typically will bust their ass, because they appreciate that they have a job.. and they work harder than your average American because we are the spoiled little 'rich kids' that the world has us pegged for. I bet a Russian or German immigrant would put us to shame just as badly as Mexicans do.

Legally speaking, though.. is makin' immigrants legal a good idea? I dunno. It dumps on the thousands of people who did go through the long, legal process.. that can actually speak English.. things like that. Thank god they're not trying to pass legislation on tracking down every last one of the 11 million illegal immigrants and deporting them. Now that would be nightmarish..

Current Mood: peaceful
Current Music: Moulin Noir - Can't Sleep {Frantically}

I'm gonna cross-post this with MySpace, because there's still a few LJ-goers who aren't on MySpace.. and I think this post'll summarize my feelings on an issue well enough that I'll never have to explain it again.

It's no secret to anyone that I am not high on relationships or marriage. There's always some sorta problem I'll notice in other people's relationships that I know are common.. and would probably crop up in my own.. and they're problems that'd end it for me. Yea, I have no doubts I'd never hold a relationship together.. I'd require someone who didn't get on my nerves too often.

If I went down through the list of people I know in a relationship, I could pick out at least one relationship-ending quirk for me. However, none will compare to.. the past three days with Robin and Rei.

I'll make this short and sweet. I'm not sure which was more discomforting and embarrassing for me.. being in the middle of Wintzell's, with my sister crying while Rei tore her to shreds (mind you, this's only 4 hours after she just went to her mom's funeral--and after I wrecked my car on a cemetery gate), saying how selfish she is.. or later when I'm driving home, Jason calls (first time we've talked in years.. ) and all I can really hear is Rei calling her a selfish bitch and 'such a fucking asshole'.. they continued that in the damn driveway, too. At my dad's house. I dunno why she puts up with him.. but if some cunt ever did anything remotely like that to me.. well.

And if I eventually had children and my wife did that to one of them? Bitch'd find herself pushed out a window real fast.

One day, I'd like to meet a couple that makes me look forward to one day meeting special.. to give me some hope that it's actually worth it. 'Cause it isn't lookin' good right now.

Current Mood: aggravated
Current Music: Covenant - The Men {Remix}

Ever had a series of days that was so unbelievable.. and so much went on.. that you have absolutely no desire to tell anyone else about it, ever? Yessir.

Current Mood: tired

On second thought, mice suck. As far as I can tell, it didn't show up last night but the next time it does.. I happen to have 4 stray kitties outside. See, a good way to kill a rodent without doing it yourself is to let a cat tear it to pieces. ^.^

Current Mood: amused
Current Music: Dubok - Shiver

*smirk*
Even I, Das Chuckittie, can be dense. Here's an example.

This morning I wake up.. go to the kitchen.. and I'm heating up some water for oatmeal when I notice, two pieces of bread laying near the stove. I'm thinkin'.. "What the hell?".. I don't remember throwing bread around like a five year old. It actually took me a few seconds, until I realized the bread bag had been chewed open, before I figured out that the mouse I suspected I lived with.. was more than just a figment of my lively imagination. Stupid me. Don't leave food out in the open is one of the things I've always been told, but.. oops. I guess the mousey liked it.

The problem is, is that I don't wanna kill this mouse with a rat trap so I'm at a loss for what, exactly, I should do. I think I'm a little too soft-hearted still since those two puppies were put down last week. Can't have any more animal deaths on my conscience I guess. Bleh. Damn it.

Current Mood: annoyed
Current Music: Les Anges de la Nuit - Absolution {Mercyful Mix}

.. uh huh.
I'd heard, at some point, that Dauphin Street was being has been slowly restored to the.. well, what amounts to the equivalent of Bourbon Street, so take that as you want to. So last night I walked down Dauphin at around.. eh.. 8:30, 9 or so. Well. The only resemblance I saw was an abundance of bums asking for money. I'm sure Byron can agree with me on this one, Bourbon Street, at night, is very.. very crowded at night, even without any sorta special event going on. Dauphin Street? Not so much. At least Mobile's trying, though. We still have a plethora of empty/gutted buildings downtown. Every time I walk by this certain one (I don't remember what street it intersects at, exactly), I always think, "One day I'm going to do something with this place." No doubt they have a special little section in the seedier parts of Mobile for places like what I wanna open.

That takes money, of course, and I'm fresh out. Come to think of it, I need to re-print my resume and give it to my dad to fax off to a few hospitals this next week. Sigh. I hate job searching.. it'll be easier now that I actually have experience doing something, but still. Shit. It's that uncertainty.. waitin' for a fuckin' call.. that gets to me. Ah, well. It'll be fun! I'll make it fun. Damn it.

*grumble*

Current Mood: anxious
Current Music: Digital Dream - Human Sacrifice

Unique? Oh, fuck off, you poser.
I should've posted this early, when it was fresh on my mind.. but I forgot, as I typically do. As a matter of fact, I forgot half of what I was gonna say, which's a pity since, to me, it was deep and meaningful. Just not meaningful enough to stay in my mind for more than 6 hours.

I was thinkin' earlier about how lame it'd be to be truly unique. I know people say, "Oh, everyone's unique in their own way," but please. Be realistic, people. Unique is generally defined as "a complete one of a kind".. there's nothing else in the world like it. Do you have any idea how much it would suck to have a unique sense of music, or art? If you could never find anyone else that could relate to you? If you created something that was, to you, completely mind-blowing and life-altering and everyone else's impression of it is, "Oh.. well, that was a waste of time." To me, that would suck ass.

Then we have our unique 'groups'.. see, I've noticed the emo/goth crowd (which, to the last damned one of them, are fucking crack-smoking jezebels) seem to boast of themselves as, "Oh, hey, I'm unique! I'm special!" Yea, you're so damned special you have a chain-store (Hot Topic) designed for you and innumerable groups on MySpace, LJ, etc.. Priding themselves on being "unlike the others", and yet, just as pretencious as the ones they're so 'unlike.' Seriously. Someone needs to give these people a lesson in fashion.. dressing like a reject from a Tim Burton flick is attractive only to the other "I'm so gloomy and sinister" fucks who refuse to grow outta their high school attitude.

I hope I pissed someone off with that. ^.^

What sucks, though, is that this entire train of thought was spawned because of the other train of thought that slipped away. Bah! I'm drivin' home from the store and start thinkin'.. something about human nature? Or somethin'. Shit.

Ah, well. So I was mauled by a trio of dogs today. Rosie, dad and Amanda's aussie, was havin' a good old time running amok with a pitt bull pup and a mutt.. that looks like a basset mixed with a bluetick coonhound.. that have taken up with Amanda. Sweet dogs, the two strays are, but.. even so. Animal control refuses to pick them up. Not an emergency. So for now, they're hanging around.. and since they're such sweet dogs, I felt it my duty to be playful. Some of you may know I have a sweet spot for pitt bulls. Good dogs with a bad image. (This goes for Dobermans and probably Rottweilers too) I have all kinds bite and scratch marks on me, though, and I smelled of puppy earlier. It didn't help that Rosie yanked me off my feet and sent my ass tumbling down the hill, either.

The mutt's in heat, though. She kept trying to hump the face of the pittbull pup. God.. that was funny. Pitt bull started trying to bite the mutt's underside, then ran off. I said to Amanda, "Thank god we don't have kids here.. I'd hate explaining lesbian dogs.".. which reminded me of when my friend, Charles, once called me after his grandma's black poodle was having "lesbian dog sex" with another female dog. And the grandma started yelling at her poodle, "you fucking dyke cunt!" or something like that.. and attacked her with a cane. Now I don't support animal cruelty, but I do support an entertaining story, and that counts as one.

Peace, bitches.

P.S. New Gary Numan album :D

Current Mood: amused
Current Music: Gary Numan - Haunted

German Engineering?
I was watching TV last night.. UFC, then TNA (wrestling, pervs.. hah, me calling someone a perv.. priceless), and there were commercials for Volkswagen. I was highly amused.. it basically had a 'German engineer' (whether he was an engineer is regardless, but you can't fake that accent) trash-talking riced-out Asian imports, then destroying them.. then bringing out a Volkswagen. I'm not a huge fan of VW, due to.. I think they're not attractive.. but any brand that's brazen enough to trash a ricer gets my vote.

Funny, considering I own a car that, as soon as people start selling them off cheaply, will be rice-bait. I'll probably never sell my car because I'd be afraid of seeing someone else driving it with fartcans hooked on it. Ugh.

After I get back from the parades today, I need to type out my resume.. refine it a bit.. and start faxing it off to some hospitals. Decent pay.. work you like a dog, but I don't mind being overworked as long as I'm not the only one doing all the work. Besides, overtime is your friend. Especially when you start looking at your bills and realize, this's the last month you can pay for everything without starting to cancel some of your services. To name one, this might be my last month of cable for a while.. I'm thinking about cutting it off until I get everything else paid up on time. Hell, I might just leave it off. I still spend far too much time sitting on here than I need to.. an addiction I'm still having trouble trying to kick. At least I'm not addicted to games anymore.. I'm just addicted to people I know either strictly online, or talk to primarily online.

On to other news.. I haven't been able to run as much this past week as I've wanted. I hate the cold, and whenever it's not cold, it's freakin' raining. Dunno if I'll be able to truly compete in a 2 mile run, but if not.. well. There's still lots of nice woman-ass to look at as I trail behind them. And by woman-ass, I don't mean the flat, unattractive man-ass that some women occasionally have. A pity it is, truly.

The stress from work's pretty much put a damper on my art at the moment. I was dealing pretty well with it till I figured out, I'll barely be able to pay my bills this month.. but once I have that cleared up, at least I all ready know what my next project'll be.. and that's the Heatherdove. Really cute picture of her.. it'll be my first real excursion into 'realism' in a number of years, so no doubt it'll be, at best, an average piece of work.. but we all gotta start from somewhere. It pisses me off to no end that I've missed out on six years of potential progression.. I've stopped-and-started with art for as long as I can remember. I began when I was five or six.. would do it for a few months.. quit a few years, then come back.. and it was a cycle. This 5-6 year break was my longest, though, and I'll be a while in dustin' off the skills, but I have every intention of cultivating my talent as much as possible.. up 'til the point that I have the time and money to receive formal art education.

On a side note, and one that'll probably be a bit of a surprise for anyone reading this, that's aware of my views on the military.. I've been toying with the idea of enlisting, to be a combat medic. I never have, and probably never will, have any interest in shooting down someone, terrorist or not, but saving someone.. that's somethin' I could settle with. It'll be a while before I make any sort of definitive decision on that, though.. but, we'll see.

Current Mood: thoughtful
Current Music: Lights of Euphoria - Sleepwalking

Predictable
So.. I mangled my ankles, heh. It's been years since I really did a lot of running.. as in, not since I was in elementary school.. so of course, I don't have the tough skin I used to have. That translates to, "I got evil, evil blisters." I bled like a stuck pig and didn't even realize it.. no, the pain didn't start till after I got back home, thankfully. On top of not really being accusedomed to it, I'd also acquired some crosstrainers and.. eh.. didn't break them in properly? Heh. Serves me right, but ugh.. I can't even wear shoes right now.

It's cool watching the progression of sympathy at work turn into amusement. Tuesday, they're all "Aww.. poor Chuck. Need any help?" Now it's turned into, "Hah, look at the gimp run! Run, gimp, run!" Bitches!

Speakin' of work, once again we ran the risk of gettin' closed down yesterday. The Board was frolicking around the pharmacy, making sure everything was legal.. they only visit when you get reported. We had one girl working without her license.. and now she's temporarily (hopefully permanently) gone. One of the lazy slackasses. Unfortunately, now it falls to me to do her god damn job. Erg. Oh well.. they'll be in for a shock when I leave. I'm one of the "do-it-all" people because I'm so adept at whatever they want me to do.

I find that after working at this job, I have no interest in working at pharmacies anymore.. and I still have a loan to pay off for the next, like, 6 years. Oops.

Current Mood: annoyed
Current Music: Rage Against the Machine - Bulls on Parade

I remember when I was younger, I'd be riding in the car, downtown, with mom and grandma.. and every so often (in March, obviously, but I was too young then to make the connection) I'd see a gaggle of runners on the sidewalk. Like, dozens to a hundred of them.. passing these signs which state, clearly, AZALEA TRAIL RUN. I'd still ask, "What are they doing?" Point, stupidity.

Anyway.

I decided that it's my year to participate in it. The 2 mile run/walk, not the 10k run. I do suppose I'll have to start training for it as soon as possible.. tomorrow, if the weather holds up. And run, every single morning, as long as it's not raining. I can only imagine how long I'll last doin' that, but.. eh. I need a challenge. Does freezing my balls off count as a challenge? It damn well better, because if it's not, then what the fuck is?

P.S. A bad shoe can totally cramp your legs to the point you can barely lift your fuckin' foot.

Current Mood: chipper
Current Music: Assemblage 23 - You Didn't Earn It

Happy?
I was readin' an article in a magazine, and they had a short 'quiz' to determine if you're a happy person, and lo and behold, my results declare me as being a very happy person. Or, at least, I have the traits of a 'very happy person'. The same article also rated like seven or eight countries on the average percentage of the population being "very happy".. Australia placed at first (and note, Australia didn't rank first in median income or frequency of sex.. go figure) while Japan placed dead last, with something akin to 5% of their population being very happy. Which, I guess, makes sense. .. Of course, they also ranked dead last for frequency of sex. I wonder how accurate those tests are.

I don't like Japan, either way. Not the Americans, not the Germans, not Italy.. none of us ever denied and refused to acknowledge the atrocities that we perpetrated during World War 2. What does Japan do? They consider these sites to be awesome tourist sites. Fuckin' pricks.

Yesterday, I overheard that our 'fitness pharmacist' is leaving at the end of next month. I was quite down about that.. but we might also be losing our other part-time pharmacist, which would really blow ass. I'm not happy at all with this.. we're losin' some of our best employees even before the layoff. I shouldn't bitch since, with any luck, the Chuck won't be there much longer, but.. blah.

Anyone who's ever asked me for a rundown on what I'd love in a woman (I might be a lot of things, but being naive enough to believe I'd ever meet this perfect person isn't one of them.) probably won't be surprised to hear I've added yet more to this list. It occurred to me last night while talkin' with a friend.. and we both commented on how unrealistic I am, heh. But, just for shits and giggles, here's my additions. 1) Must either like tattoos to look at, or be inked herself. Reason being, I don't need some trollop badgering me about laser surgery or a cover-up. It is not happening. and 2) Must have at least a mild interest in fitness, though it'd great if I ever actually met someone that loved running or playing a sport like.. soccer or tennis. Someone who fell in that category would be truly ideal.. a person that'd prefer couch-potatoing on a beautiful day isn't gonna be spending much time on my couch.

If you add those up to rest of my "wants and needs" in a woman, you'd realize, just as I do, that I'd require a genetically altered, labratory-grown lady. *smirk* It's good to have imaginary ideals.. because when you find that 'special someone', you can laugh your ass off at how absolutely far off the mark you were in thinking, "This's what I want."

Current Mood: sleepy

Heh.. last night I was talking to Tim on Yahoo, and he was talking about doing house remodeling and house flipping since, once again, he got laid off. Beware, people, airplane mechanics don't have the best job security. Anyway. I wasn't especially familiar with the concept of "house flipping" so I asked, what is it.. and he directed me to watching HGTV or TLC, since they have shows on it. I commented on watching TLC to see Miami Ink, then belatedly remembered.. Tim hates tattoos. Thinks they're trashy.. about as trashy as I find his wife to be, as like as not. Then he said he's seen the previews and said "no one in their right mind would want to be covered in ink." People in their right mind wouldn't lay down $3000ish for a a slightly bigger TV than he all ready had, then go outta the way to pay more for HD shit. If you really have nothing better to do than spend more and more money on bigger TVs, and watch TV as much as possible, you 1)need a fucking life and 2)need to shut the fuck up about gaining weight (or losing weight if your metabolism swings that way). Of course, I didn't say this, but.. yea. I also didn't tell him I was probably gettin' ink done this weekend, though that's up in the air.. I got a killer bill Wednesday, heh. I'll still manage it somehow, if the tattoo doesn't set me back too bad. I'm good at getting off subject.

Okay, anyway. I didn't tell him I was getting any done.. or that dad has absolutely no problem with it. It's great when you can tell your dad, "Hey, I'm gettin' a tattoo." Then show him the design. Then the conversation jumps right to how much better and intricate tattoos are nowadays than when he got his 40 years ago. Told me which one he got first.. the rose with "Mom" in it (one of the few instances I like a rose tattoo, heh) and the last was his ex-wife's initials.. and the cover-up that mom demanded at some point after they married. One day I might even ask why he got some of the more peculiar ones done.

Actually, this came up again last night.. was at dinner with both parents, next door at the restaurant, and my step-mom mentioned some of the portrait tattoos done on Miami Ink by one of the artists. Hearing dad talk about it is one thing.. from your step-mom, it's completely different. A while back, she mentioned how I should get my ear pierced, get a couple tattoos. What the hell? Hah. Better yet was her cousin saying I should grow my hair out, get my left ear piereced ("But not the right one, since you don't look like a queer."), and get a chopper. *snicker*

Amanda's family amuses me.. mom's side of the family was generally too redneck and conservative to ever do much. They'd own the same car for 20-30 years.. long after they've replaced every single thing in the automobile. Ever had to ride in a Gremlin in Mobile, during the summer, with no fucking A/C? It's evil. Pure evil. More interesting was the choice of residences some of them had.. I don't see the intelligence in voluntarily living in a part of town where you have to have guard dogs in your yard. Dogs were stolen, though.. and that particular uncle did indeed make enough to buy a new house but.. eh.. whatever. The exception of my uncles is the one that's actually local. Unless something drastically changed, he and his wife have this massive two-story they built by hand (for the most part), a Corvette, a nice truck, and.. a run-down El Camino, heh. Oh, and a pool table. Can't forget the pool table. I never would've played pool anywhere else if I'd never first played at my uncle's house the first time.

Unfortunately, as I heard from a lawyer, two of my uncles have passed away, but I can't confirm that.. the family's so estranged that no one talks to anyone anymore. Sigh.

^. .^

Current Mood: awake
Current Music: Die Krupps - Der Amboss {feat. Client}

I was watchin' some dorky romance movie the other night.. Sweet November, I think?.. and it turned out to just be another movie about someone wanting that last love while dying with cancer. Hollywood trivializes some of the most serious stuff.. someone dying with cancer usually isn't in the fuckin' mood, they're puking their guts out or too incapacitated to even do that. At least when they're as far gone as the character in this particular supposedly was. I mean, how many movies involving the dying cancer patient do we have to suffer through? Is it that hard to come up with an original romance idea? Shit, things that happen in the real world are a lot more dramatic and surreal than some of the shit in movies nowadays. Someone should just film documentaries on these people and sell it off as "a work of theatrical art" or whatever they call it.

Ya know.. some while back, I'd came up with the idea of writin' short stories about my apartment. About hearing weird noises.. or just emulating your basic horror ideas.. just to get myself back in the swing of things. Ya know what happened, though? I really am hearing weird noises in my apartment, and the lady downstairs from me says you can hear scratching from my apartment. Her cat flips out when she hears it. As for myself, I hear no scratching.. just heavy bumping around, or what sounds like metal being scraped, and other various shit like that. I can't find the source of it, and I suspect it's a mouse or somethin'. But heavy bumping? What the fuck is it, a graveyard rat? Should I be concerned about this? Am I going to be eaten alive in my sleep? I should totally write that down.

I'm slowly narrowing down why I generally prefer women that aren't particularly skinny. Ever notice how they have virtually no flesh around their chest/collarbone area? Can practically see the bone structure there.. that's icky, heh. I'm having problems enough being able to see my own ribs, much less someone else's. I'd wanna run a stick down their rib cage just to see if it'd make any peculiar noises. .. Heh. Where in the hell do I come up with this ideas..

I was "commissioned" (not being paid, but it's still a request) by Bev to sketch out a design for her, and ya know.. I really need to get back to foolin' around with what I'm good at. My goal is to have at least one complete sketch done, per week.. and while a lot of people can say, "Aww, you're only doin' one sketch?", my sketches usually take from 2 hours to a week to actually do.. so I think it's a pretty fair timespan for me, especially considering I'm so incredibly outta artistic shape. Another goal for the year.. stop bein' a slackass where art is concerned.

And to end this little entry, I was walkin' around a park this past Saturday and stopped to help some lady with her dog, who'd had a seizure.. I couldn't do much, since your average dog doesn't want a stranger near them when they're helpless or in pain, but it was so heartbreaking. Poor dog.. he was some sorta hound, and looked kinda old.. and the lady looked really upset. Other people'd walked right by her without stopping to help (in this case, she just needed to get his leash back on, which'd somehow came off) but.. c'mon, what was I supposed to do? Refuse to help a lady and her shivering dog? Bitch, please. I'd risk gettin' bit for a good reason. Eventually the pooch got back up on his feet and walked back to her car.. I spent a lot of time wondering if there was any other way I could've helped, but.. I dunno.. what could I have done? Carried the dog back to her car? *shrug* Poor thing, though.. it reminded me of Dusty in his later years, when he was blind and goin' deaf.. hum.. I loooves me my Dusty. I doubt I'll ever have another dog that was as good as he was..

Current Mood: thoughtful
Current Music: KMFDM - Like a Prayer

While I do still plan on finding a new job, it's so tempting to stay on PRN at PharMerica just because I really would miss some of my coworkers. Some of the most awesome, unique people I know work there.. hell, I even get the occasional gift from people, just because I'm me. For all my many faults, I guess people still love me anyway. Suckers! Seriously, though.. for every person I can't stand right now, there's another person that I'll miss dearly. Getting attached to coworkers is a habit I'll have to break myself of, heh.

As amazing as it may be to some, I've been listening to the radio a little bit as of late.. but strictly TK 101. I still can't stand the majority of the music played on the radio nowadays, but there is the occasional gem that gets played. Unfortunately, the NIN track they're playing a lot isn't one of them. Having spent a good couple of years now exploring the indie scene of industrial-/aggro-electronica, I've had to admit that, even at their peak, NIN was pretty weak. Lyrics were.. pretty similar throughout a lot the albums, aimed at what amounts to teenage angst (and since I'm no longer a teenager, and can look back and be amused at the concept of teenage angst, I attribute this view partially to that) and the music steadily got softer throughout the years.. just emphasizing Reznor's statement in Spin magazine, years ago, that he ripped Ministry's sound and made it more.. marketable, for lack of a better word. Between Ministry, Skinny Puppy (who I am still not a fan of), KMFDM (who made industrial more club-friendly), and Front 242 (who made the entire genre what it is before it even was a genre), NIN just doesn't add up anymore.. all you can say about them is, the man is fucking hot, the live performances are awesome, but NIN added nothing to the genre except for a lot of copy bands that did not survive and a lot of stupid fans that never looked past the mainstream.

I could definitely go on a rant about Marilyn Manson, but why bother? It's pretty well documented by his career without me having to throw in my two cents. He is still pretty hot, though.

I could probably go on a rant about every band/musician I liked in the 90's, come to think of it. Especially the ones that're still around but have changed so dramatically, and usually for the worse. While I'll always miss Stabbing Westward, that last album they did was horrible and it's probably a good thing they put themselves out of their own misery before doing something even worse. Most of the members of that band're still kicking around, though.. I really need to look up their new projects.

Current Music: KMFDM - Stains {Covenant Remix}

Heh, I had this paragraph typed out and had to acknowledge that it was touching on somethin' a little touchy, even for me. Did any of us think I actually had a limit I'd not break? I was startin' to wonder myself.

I've been feeling that itch to get a pet, again.. sorta annoying. I don't have the money for one right now, but I'd really, truly love to get me a little kitty (I can't maintain a dog, attention-wise). I mean, I'm the chuckittie for a reason. I was born to have a kitty.. and some boxers and greyhounds when I have a house and huge yard. I guess I have other important things I need before a pet.. besides, if I need some animal lovin', there's always Rosie who's more than willing to hop in my lap and knock my pizza onto my favorite shirt. Damn puppy.

Yea. I was watching March of the Penguins, which's a pretty cute film. There was much "Aww!" going on. Enter Rosie. She comes into the hallway, stops dead in her tracks, and looks at me. Then bolts towards me, and with a single flying leap, jumps into the chair, on my lap, and jostles my arm enough to dump my last slice of pizza onto my favorite black shirt. My "Aww!" became an "Awwwshit!" almost immediately.. but I loved on her anyway. She's just a feisty little dog that goes apeshit when I step in the door.. licking, jumping, giving me more attention than I really need, heh. Restraint is not her strong point yet. I did learn somethin', though. When she's super-hyper around me, it's a bad idea to kneel on the floor with her. She can, and will, dive into my throat. Sigh.

I love the little pooch, though.

Current Mood: amused
Current Music: Abney Park - Holy War {Ghoual-ash Mix}

*smirk*
I was just watchin' wrestling and thinkin' about stuff going on and realized.. I can beabsolutely idiotically and naive about some select people and situations. While they aren't worth mentioning in detail, since they're known to me, all I can say is I'm sure I'll get a good laugh out of it once I've finished kicking my own ass for being so god damned stupid. At least I can admit these things to myself.. now it's just a matter of workin' through it.

Work today was.. pretty typically bad. We got done with two days work by 5, so I left early.. and I was mulling over where to get my resume set up and start mailing it out.. and what happens? I get a call from my dad.. one of my step-relatives (I'm not sure if she's an aunt anymore or not) offers to help with my resume since she does a professional job with them. Is it a sign? Oh, I think it is. I just wish I knew what sorta money I could end up makin' with my experience and qualifications but.. eh. I guess getting a late start in the work field sorta puts you a little behind on what to realistically expect. If I do leave, though, I'm gonna miss a select few of my co-workers.. but not nearly as many as I used to think I would. In fact, a lot of the people I used to adore are the ones that're makin' me hate my job now. I hate when that happens, in any aspect of life.. feh.

Occasionally I wonder what happened to people I've known either the years, either online or from my childhood. My first friend was Blake.. haven't talked to him in ages. Same goes for Ernie. Both of 'em figured very heavily into my life when I was younger.. but then I lost contact after they moved away. Once in a blue moon I'll wonder "Whatever happened to him..".. but I don't concern myself with it all that much. No doubt if I did get back in touch with them, I'd find out Blake was a raging redneck and Ernie.. well.. he couldn't stand the "out" crowd in high school, so I can only imagine what he'd think of me now. Ah, well.

Current Mood: full

When you come to terms that you hate waking up on weekdays because you have to go to work, and you can't stand your job anymore, I think it's a fair sign that you should move on to a new job. Except in this case, 'you' is 'I' and 'I' am speaking in third person like an idiot.

... and I just realized my gummi bears have a scent similar to.. Malibu. Wonder if they're spiked.. wonder if I could eat enough to get drunk, if they were..

Current Mood: grumpy

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